Aretha’s Funeral Will Clock In At Five And A Half Hours
I loved Aretha Franklin's music, but five and a half hours?!! I don't think my twitchy self could make it past two.
Friday morning, they will finally lay Aretha Franklin to rest at the Greater Grace Temple in Detroit. Many well known political figures and celebrities will speak from the Reverend Jesse Jackson to Motown legend Smokey Robinson.
Musical performances will come from the likes of Ariana Grande to Chaka Khan and Stevie Wonder.
On paper, it seems like a star studded event, but the schedule as its laid out here, has a running time of five and a half hours, from 9:30am until 3:00pm! That's a lot of funeral.
Which leads me to ask some questions:
Will there be a concession stand? Because my blood sugar level is going to drop in five hours.
What is the Greater Grace Temple bathroom situation? Because I know I can't hold it for five hours. In fact, I'll be going every 45 minutes, just so you know.
Will there be an intermission? there isn't one scheduled, but if we could all go out to the lobby and gossip at about the three hour mark, that would be cool.
Will there be a smoking area? It is Michigan after all, which means about half the people are smokers.
And a big FYI before I go, if you're interested, the 'Promethean', Aretha's bronze, gold studded coffin is on sale now for a mere 24k at Casket Depot. Yes, that is a real web site, where you can buy coffins. You can also buy them at Costco, just so you know.