Who doesn't have memories of high school and its endless drama and its cliques? We wondered what cities in Michigan would be like if the state was actually a high school.

What If Cities in Michigan Were High School Students

Photo by Justin Jones on Unsplash

Lansing is like the younger child of a prominent family where the older brother, Detroit, excelled in all things, but Lansing failed to launch after high school. Lansing is however on the debate team every year.

Grand Rapids
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Grand Rapids has very strict and religious parents. That's probably why GR sneaks out to drink every weekend. And whenever Grand Rapids is out drinking, Kalamazoo is probably tagging along. Kzoo likes to mimic all things GR but isn't quite as cool doing it.

Battle Creek hangs out around the cafeteria a lot and gets really excited when they're serving French toast sticks.

Who aced their SATs in 9th Grade? Ann Arbor did. That's who.

Interlochen is really into band. And choir. They play like 5 different instruments. They're also the drum major.

New Buffalo started dating someone from another school, Chicago, and seems to have forgotten all about their hometown friends. But what happens, New Buffalo, when Chicago dumps you for South Haven? And then dumps South Haven for Saugatuck?

Remember in elementary school when you'd bring in cupcakes or cookies for a birthday? Hamtramck's mom always made perogies. And sauerkraut.

Sault Ste. Marie is in your grade even though they're like three years older than everyone else in class. Sault will also be the 20-year-old who's still going to prom.

Portage Lift Bridge
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Who drives their snowmobile to class...in May? Houghton does. So does their cousin Hancock.

There's that one kid you had lots of classes with. But they never spoke much. Maybe you've never heard them talk at all. And you don't know much about them. They are kind of off in their own little world. You know, Alpena. Or Coldwater. Or Monroe. Or Bad Axe.

Except Bad Axe is always wearing a bitchin' leather jacket because, you know, they're bad axe.

Every school has a set of twins, or triplets, who seem to dress alike, speak alike and are best friends with each other. Meet Iron Mountain, Iron River and Ironwood.

What about the kids who hang out in those nearly deserted back hallways where no one wants their lockers? Always in trench coats. That's feels really Downriver. Looking right at you Melvindale, Ecorse and Lincoln Park.

Jackson? We don't talk much about Jackson after they got sent to juvi.

Bloomfield Hills - don't even try. So far out of your league. And you don't have a chance with Grosse Point Shores or East Grand Rapids either.

Sturgis and Niles are always behind school playing with illegal fireworks. They have a friend, Indiana, who hooks them up.

East Lansing is the big-shot quarterback that scored a college scholarship, But it's to a last-place team.

Ypsilanti is like that one kid in every clique who is just hanging around the cool kids. They don't quite fit in. But the more popular kids, Detroit, Ann Arbor and Dearborn just don't have the heart to kick them out of the group.

Midland spends most of their free time playing in the chemistry lab.

Which is a little more productive than Mount Pleasant who's been playing poker and blackjack since they learned how to shuffle.

I don't even think Muskegon goes to this school anymore.

Little advice, it's best to be low-key cool with Saginaw and Flint.

No, Petoskey, I don't want to see your rock collection again. We haven't done show-and-tell since kindergarten.

Brooklyn has the most tricked-out car in the school parking lot. They've also got the most speeding tickets.

Mackinac Island
Photo by Rohan Gangopadhyay on Unsplash

It's not that they eat a lot of fudge, Mackinac Island simply has a glandular problem.

Holland is like the European foreign exchange student everyone was friendly with but forgotten the semester after they moved home.

If you've made it through this, you may wonder what Michigan cities would be like if they were Christmas Vacation characters.

LOOK: Best counties to raise a family in Michigan

Stacker compiled a list of the best counties to raise a family in Michigan.

Gallery Credit: Stacker

Original Inspiration - New York version.

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