It's Monday, and I'm back from vacation. We had a wonderful time with family, but now, I'm anxious to get back to work! Okay, that may be a stretch.

Does anybody look forward to getting back to work after a fun vacation? I do love my job, and the people I work with, so I actually am looking forward to getting back on the air and the radio show.

I know it's Monday, a tough day, so I think we need a few laughs. I'm including some great one-liners a friend sent me to jump start your day.

My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds. Only 15 to go.

Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza.

How to prepare Tofu:
1. Throw it in the trash.
2. Grill some Meat.

I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.

I don't mean to brag but......I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 20 minutes.

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.

Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school?
Me neither.

I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented....I forgot where I was going with this.

A thief broke into my house last night......He started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.

My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like: I KNOW !, Right?

Happy Monday!