I never used to think there was ANY way you could ruin pizza. Of course, there are toppings I'm not fond of, like sardines. But other people seem to enjoy them. And of course, there's the pineapple debate as well. But objectively, everyone agrees that, YES... those are still viable forms of pizza.

BUT, there's a style of pizza from the Ohio Valley that I just discovered that is a crime against humanity, and may have ruined pizza for me forever... at least in Ohio.

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Every region has their preferred style of pizza. In New York, it's big, floppy slices that you have to fold. Or, some of the older neighborhoods go full traditional tomato pie. Chicago obviously has the deep dish that more resembles a casserole than a pizza, but we won't hold that against them.

And of course OUR favorite, the Detroit Style pizza, which is typically square in nature, and traditionally served with sauce spooned on top of a brick cheese.

But there's a region of pizza makers who have just ruined pizza forever. The Ohio Valley-style pizza was created in Steubenville, Ohio by Primo DiCarlo after returning home from World War II. He'd eaten pizza in Italy during the war, and attempted to recreate it in the U.S.

But he did the worst possible job he could have.

Youtube/PMQ Pizza
Youtube/PMQ Pizza
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How to Make Ohio Valley-style Pizza

The pizza is square, but not like a Detroit-Style pizza. It's more like what you were served off a sheet pan for school lunches, and is actually cooked on a sheet pan. So it's relatively thin.

The sauce is a sweet tomato sauce, similar to a tomato pie, and spread all across the crust before it's tossed into the oven to bake.

And if you're curious about the rest of the toppings, you're not crazy, because THIS is what makes this pizza so egregious...

The toppings on an Ohio Valley-style pizza are COLD!

Even after creating it, DiCarlo was interviewed in 2018 as to why the toppings are cold, and he said he CAN'T REMEMBER why he did it that way, "Maybe to avoid burning the toppings?"

So an accident, that the guy who invented it can't even remember why he did it that way, has become a "style" of pizza? No. Absolutely not.

I know we're all divided over the whole Pineapple on Pizza thing, but I think we can all band together, and confirm that this is the worst style of pizza ever concocted. It's basically a glorified lunchable pizza.

And it had to be Ohio, right?

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