Four Places to NEVER Eat in Kalamazoo

You don't have to be in Kalamazoo long to know the best craft breweries, best burger spots, or best sushi in town. But maybe avoid eating at these places at all costs.

We know where to get the best burgers in the Kalamazoo area.  We even know where to go when we want good Sushi in Kalamazoo.  However, there are a handful of places you should avoid going to eat in Kalamazoo.  If you disagree with any of these, I simply can't help you.

4 Places to NEVER Eat in Kalamazoo

#1. The bottom of the Kalamazoo River.

Eating while submerged in any river would prove to be difficult. Nobody likes a soggy sandwich.

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However, as beautiful as the Kalamazoo River looks on a sunny Spring day downtown, it is a very dirty body of water.

#2. The Kalamazoo County Jail.

No disrespect to the hard-working people at the Kalamazoo County lock-up cafe.  But one of your major goals in life should be to not eat here.

Also, beans seem like a bad choice if you share a cell.

#3. Your friend's mom's house when your friend is away at college.

We all know your friend's mom makes the best soup when you don't feel good.  We also know that your friend's mom has spent a lot of time alone since the divorce.

I'm not your real dad, but I better not see your car in this driveway.

#4. Behind, beside, inside, or in front of a dumpster.

Listen, I'm as trashy as the next Michigander, but eating dumpster leftovers seems like a bad idea.

I'm no Doctor but I'm pretty sure you're going to need a bunch of shots after going in there.

Read More: The 7 Best Places for Fish and Chips During Lent near Kalamazoo