Contact Us

5 Reasons World Cup Players Are Really Just Big Toddlers

The U.S. has been knocked out, but there are still plenty of reasons to continue watching the World Cup.

The World Cup has been filled with emotion, tears, and biting.

It’s not unlike a day in the life of an average toddler.

I’m a big soccer fan and supporter of our national team, but as a father of three, I can’t help but notice some similarities between World Cup soccer players and toddlers.

BITING

Clive Rose, Getty Images

Luis Suarez is one of the best soccer players in the world.

He is also a biter.

He has bitten players three times, including once in the 2014 World Cup.

His latest bite landed him a 4-month suspension, which seems like a smaller penalty than what a preschooler might receive.

FALLING DOWN FOR NO REASON

Richard Heathcote, Getty Images

Sometimes World Cup players run fast, then fall down and go boom.

For no reason.

Toddlers like to walk and fall for no reason too. The only difference is they don’t instinctively grab their ankles when they hit the ground. They just get back up.

STOP EVERYTHING FOR A DRINK BREAK

Jamie McDonald, Getty Images

FIFA introduced a new rule which allows the referee to stop a match for a “cooling break” so all players can get a drink of water.

This is not unlike any daily activity with a toddler. Road trips, shopping trips, bike rides, and more are never complete without at least one sudden drink/snack/bathroom break.

Here’s hoping the World Cup players’ parents don’t forget to bring orange slices next time.

WON’T KEEP THEIR CLOTHES ON

Julian Finney, Getty Images

World Cup players like to take their shirts off. They do it after games and during games.

It’s toddler-like behavior, but toddlers easily win this round.

Toddlers like to take their shirts off too, but they don’t stop there. Not only are socks, pants, and underwear seen as optional. They are considered a nuisance by most toddlers and could be removed at any moment and without warning.

3-STEP DISCIPLINE SYSTEM

Matthew Lewis, Getty Images

Who invented the 1-2-3/timeout discipline system?

It would appear it was World Cup referees.

1 = verbal warning, 2 = yellow card, 3 = red card

Although some behaviors, like biting, deserve an instant timeout/red card.

Every parent should have a set of yellow/red cards for their house.

 

Enjoy watching the rest of the World Cup, just think twice about watching with your toddler. You don’t want them getting any ideas.

Follow Matt Milhouse on Facebook and Twitter.  Listen to 100.5 The River weekdays, 10 a.m.– 3 p.m.

More from 100.5 The River

Best of the Web

Leave a Comment

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your points and personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

*Please note that your points, prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account with your Facebook account, just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing profile and VIP program points. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to http://rivergrandrapids.com using your Facebook account.

*Please note that your points, prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

Register on 100.5 The River quickly by logging in with your Facebook account. It's just as secure, and no password to remember!

Not a Member? Sign Up Here

Please solve this simple math problem to prove that you are a real person.

Register on 100.5 The River quickly by logging in with your Facebook account. It's just as secure, and no password to remember!