5 Reasons World Cup Players Are Really Just Big Toddlers
The U.S. has been knocked out, but there are still plenty of reasons to continue watching the World Cup.
The World Cup has been filled with emotion, tears, and biting.
It's not unlike a day in the life of an average toddler.
I'm a big soccer fan and supporter of our national team, but as a father of three, I can't help but notice some similarities between World Cup soccer players and toddlers.
Luis Suarez is one of the best soccer players in the world.
He is also a biter.
He has bitten players three times, including once in the 2014 World Cup.
His latest bite landed him a 4-month suspension, which seems like a smaller penalty than what a preschooler might receive.
FALLING DOWN FOR NO REASON
Sometimes World Cup players run fast, then fall down and go boom.
For no reason.
Toddlers like to walk and fall for no reason too. The only difference is they don't instinctively grab their ankles when they hit the ground. They just get back up.
STOP EVERYTHING FOR A DRINK BREAK
FIFA introduced a new rule which allows the referee to stop a match for a "cooling break" so all players can get a drink of water.
This is not unlike any daily activity with a toddler. Road trips, shopping trips, bike rides, and more are never complete without at least one sudden drink/snack/bathroom break.
Here's hoping the World Cup players' parents don't forget to bring orange slices next time.
WON'T KEEP THEIR CLOTHES ON
World Cup players like to take their shirts off. They do it after games and during games.
It's toddler-like behavior, but toddlers easily win this round.
Toddlers like to take their shirts off too, but they don't stop there. Not only are socks, pants, and underwear seen as optional. They are considered a nuisance by most toddlers and could be removed at any moment and without warning.
3-STEP DISCIPLINE SYSTEM
Who invented the 1-2-3/timeout discipline system?
It would appear it was World Cup referees.
1 = verbal warning, 2 = yellow card, 3 = red card
Although some behaviors, like biting, deserve an instant timeout/red card.
Every parent should have a set of yellow/red cards for their house.
Enjoy watching the rest of the World Cup, just think twice about watching with your toddler. You don't want them getting any ideas.