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Velcro Shoes? Are You Loopy?

velcro sneakersI vaguely remember an episode of “Seinfeld” where Elaine compared mens’ bodies to Jeeps.

If you’re a Seinfeld buff, you might remember the scene, but if not, the message was that men are not inherently sexy or exotic; more for utility than show.  At least that’s what I took away from it, and I completely understand the philosophy.  I get it.  Men are trucks, women are sports cars or limos or something. I’m fine with the analogy.  Here’s why.

Women like to look pretty and neat, not only to attract a mate, but to gain social status among fellow females.  Men tend to satisfy these needs symmetrically, using jokes and stunts in place of pumps and primping. It all works great.  The universe is in harmony.

Why is it then, that whenever I wear a suit or a nice outfit, my friends tell me that I should dress up more often?  Don’t get me wrong, I really like the compliments, and I know that in some cases the clothes really do make the man.  Dressing appropriately in professional circles is essential.  But toddling around town, I’m just a casual dresser.  I like to be comfortable.  I love my loose fitting jeans, my trademark zippered hoodies, and most definitely my velcro sneakers.  What? They go on fast. I like them. They are practical.  They make them for ladies too, you know.

I even keep a hoodie tied around my waist or in my day pack when I’m out and about in the summer, because anywhere you go, homes and businesses go overboard on the A/C, and it’s handy to have one along.

So if you see me on the street, go ahead and tell me that I dress like an unmade bed.  Ask me if I’ll ever learn to tie shoelaces.  I can take it.  I’ll suck it up and think about how much you’ll shiver in that ice-cold movie theater.

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