Contact Us

The Unofficial Winter Olympic Decathlon of West Michigan

Jeff J Mitchell, Getty Images

100+ inches of snow, sheets of ice covering the roads, and wind chills 30 below zero.

What do we call that in West Michigan?


As the world focuses on the Winter Olympics in Sochi, it’s winter as usual with the Unofficial Winter Olympic Decathlon of West Michigan.

Winter in West Michigan has it’s own unique challenges.



  • Some people make snowmen. We do too, but they’re 15 feet tall. We also make snow sharks. If you’re snow sculpting in West Michigan, you’d best bring your A game.


  • When it’s snowy outside and you head indoors you track the snow inside with you. Once your boots are off those piles of snow on the floor are attracted to socks. It’s like a magnet. The trick is to hop to the living room while keeping your socks dry. Good luck.


  • You’d better eat your spinach. You’re going to need forearms like Popeye’s to push a shopping cart through the snow and slush to your car in the parking lot.
  • Judges will deduct points if you don’t bring the cart to the cart corral when you’re done.
  • Watch out for traffic too. It’s like Frogger that way.


  • Do you have a mailbox at the end of your driveway? Not anymore. That snow plow has other ideas. Start digging at the last known location and hope it’s still there.


  • The kids have school, but it’s snowing, cold, and windy. The bus is late. You’re going to have to wait. How long? We don’t know. That’s the fun of it.


  • Those piles of snow at the end of the driveway are getting pretty big aren’t they? Time to make them bigger. Get a shovel full of snow and throw it as far and as high as you can.


  • No. This isn’t breakfast. What you’ll need is an empty parking lot and rear-wheel drive. Go.


  • Think shoveling snow is easy? OK. You’re ready for Snow Shoveling 102. Get on the roof and get to work. Try not to fall.


  • Bobsledding is easy. Anyone can push a sled down an icy hill. Pushing a car out of the snow is a different kind of challenge.
  • Kitty litter can improve performance, but isn’t allowed in official unofficial West Michigan Winter Olympic Decathlon competition.
  • Kitty Litter = Steroids.


  • Get a bucket of boiling water and throw the water into the air in extreme cold temperatures. Watch it turn to snow. We’ve seen this turn bad.


  • This is your chance to get creative. Rookies might make a snow ball or snow fort. Experienced pros think out-of-the-box and into-the-bowl. The ice cream bowl. Snow ice cream is a popular choice for freestyle pros.

Yes, that’s 11 events in West Michigan’s Unofficial Winter Olympic Decathlon.

The B1G Ten can’t count, so why should we?

Follow Matt Milhouse on Facebook and Twitter.  Listen to 100.5 The River weekdays, 10 a.m.– 3 p.m

Best of 100.5 The River

Recommended For You

Best of the Web

Leave a Comment

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing VIP profile. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to using your original account information.

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

(Forgot your password?)

Not a member? Sign up here

Please solve this simple math problem to prove that you are a real person.

Sign up for The River's Loyal Listeners Club quickly by connecting your Facebook account. It's just as secure and no password to remember!

Sign up to have exclusive The River's Loyal Listeners Club contests, events, coupons, presales, and much more delivered to you for FREE.