The Unofficial Winter Olympic Decathlon of West Michigan

100+ inches of snow, sheets of ice covering the roads, and wind chills 30 below zero.

What do we call that in West Michigan?

Tuesday.

As the world focuses on the Winter Olympics in Sochi, it's winter as usual with the Unofficial Winter Olympic Decathlon of West Michigan.

Winter in West Michigan has it's own unique challenges.

EXTREME SNOW SCULPTING

• Some people make snowmen. We do too, but they're 15 feet tall. We also make snow sharks. If you're snow sculpting in West Michigan, you'd best bring your A game.

DRY SOCK HOP

• When it's snowy outside and you head indoors you track the snow inside with you. Once your boots are off those piles of snow on the floor are attracted to socks. It's like a magnet. The trick is to hop to the living room while keeping your socks dry. Good luck.

PUSHING A SHOPPING CART

• You'd better eat your spinach. You're going to need forearms like Popeye's to push a shopping cart through the snow and slush to your car in the parking lot.
• Judges will deduct points if you don't bring the cart to the cart corral when you're done.
• Watch out for traffic too. It's like Frogger that way.

GETTING THE MAIL

• Do you have a mailbox at the end of your driveway? Not anymore. That snow plow has other ideas. Start digging at the last known location and hope it's still there.

SNOW SHOVEL SNOW TOSS

• Those piles of snow at the end of the driveway are getting pretty big aren't they? Time to make them bigger. Get a shovel full of snow and throw it as far and as high as you can.

DONUTS

• No. This isn't breakfast. What you'll need is an empty parking lot and rear-wheel drive. Go.

SHOVELING THE ROOF

• Think shoveling snow is easy? OK. You're ready for Snow Shoveling 102. Get on the roof and get to work. Try not to fall.

PUSH A CAR STUCK IN THE SNOW

• Bobsledding is easy. Anyone can push a sled down an icy hill. Pushing a car out of the snow is a different kind of challenge.
• Kitty litter can improve performance, but isn't allowed in official unofficial West Michigan Winter Olympic Decathlon competition.
• Kitty Litter = Steroids.

BOILING WATER THROW

• Get a bucket of boiling water and throw the water into the air in extreme cold temperatures. Watch it turn to snow. We've seen this turn bad.

FREESTYLE

• This is your chance to get creative. Rookies might make a snow ball or snow fort. Experienced pros think out-of-the-box and into-the-bowl. The ice cream bowl. Snow ice cream is a popular choice for freestyle pros.

Yes, that's 11 events in West Michigan's Unofficial Winter Olympic Decathlon.

The B1G Ten can't count, so why should we?

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