DC Wants Michigan To Shut Up About Bad Weather
A Washington Post columnist would like all of the Northern states, including Michigan, to shut up about our bad weather expertise.
To which I say, 'Fine, but remember, we were only trying to help'
Monica Hesse went off on a rant about how people who grew up in northern states always laugh at the east coast and southern states when they have a hard time dealing with winter weather.
In an essay entitled "Dear Northerners: We get that this weather is no big deal for you. Now please shut up," Hesse says she's had enough of Northerners' smugness about winter.
The people who are from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan would have you believe that you are a ninny because you might wish for such a thing. The people from Michigan would love to tell you about the time they were frozen to their snowmobile for 70 hours until they were licked free by a domesticated elk — but frankly, that is what you sign up for when you live in Michigan. If you live in Michigan, you get cheap real estate, nice lake access and below-zero mornings.
Interestingly, the only elk herd in Michigan is in the lower peninsula, but it's clear to us in the fly over states that FACTS left the nation's Capitol a while ago.
Full disclosure: I lived in the DC metro area for 18 years. Here's the irony, they actually handle winter weather well. Their plows hit the main roads quickly, and I never once had a hard time getting to work despite dealing with two of the worst storms I have ever seen in my life, worse than any I saw in Michigan, even during three years of living in the snow belt of Gaylord.
But they're the ones who won't shut up about it. Ever.
Their local news will start the anxiety wheel turning four days out. And they'll keep ramping it up until everyone's worked up into a tizzy about a four inch snowfall. It's mind boggling. While I was there I joked about it, but they had NO sense of humor about winter at all. Snow was not something to be trifled with. And therein lies the problem.
We in the Great North learn to laugh at the snow, we learn to love it and play in it. No, I don't like forty below wind chills, but what can I do to stop it? Nothing. Does complaining or worrying about it help? NO! But a 10k cross country ski through the woods eases the pain. So does luging down a sand dune.
Look, I get it. There are huge population centers out east, and snow impacts more people there than it does here. But 'bomb cyclone'? Really? I feel like the Weather Channel has a special branding they do for East Coast storms so they can get ratings and revenue.
The same cold 'bomb' that hit the East Coast hit us a day earlier and the Weather Channel never sent a reporter here while winds whipped up a six foot snowfall in the Porcupine Mountains. In fact, the MLive.com article about that snowfall showed rangers getting the ski trails ready for customers and included a link to reserve a camping spot.
We're not offering advice, Monica, we're showing you how to relax and enjoy it.
And I will be taking your advice. Next time it snows out east, I'll shut up and let you wallow in your misery.
And no, I won't call you a precious snowflake, that's a term people in your town invented. I prefer my dad's term for winter wimps: "candy ass".